A Night Spent Googling Madonna

J'ever lay in bed thinking about something? And that something leads to something else, that leads to something else and, the next thing you know, you're thinking about something entirely unrelated to the FIRST thing you were thinking about?

And then you have to track backwards through all the things you thought to get back to the beginning? Or maybe you keep thinking and end up at the beginning without going backwards?

When I was a kid, it happened all the time. Now that I'm older, well, I can't track back that far. Luckily, I have the internet and the "go back one page button."

Today, it's an internet stream of consciousness. Picture me laying in bed with a computer on my chest, doing the thinking for me.

On this day in 2000, Madonna was voted the greatest female singer of all time by 75,000 (TV-addled, witless, semi-deaf) music fans in a VH-1 poll. OK, there's no accounting for taste but I'd love to see that poll.

So, I'm off to Yahoo to search: "Madonna was voted the greatest female singer of all-time by 75,0000 music fans in a VH1 poll". Not a lot to work with so I relent and search the same on Google.

Still not a lot to work with but I do find a site called Mariah Daily. Sadly, it's not been updated in two years. Surely, Mariah has been doing SOMETHING for the past two years. I'm very disappointed.

I'm intrigued that the third-highest ranked search item is "Kenny Chesney Fan Photos" on a site called "A Country." Not sure what that has to do with Madonna so I try to visit but it takes about 40 minutes to load. Disappointed, I go back to Google.

Go to a site called Blog Critics Magazine which humbly calls itself "A Sinister Cabal of Superior Writers". Scared but confident none of the cabal will actually grab me through my computer screen, I look over a poll regarding the top female singers of all time that started in 2005.

After a few false starts, I start to see lists appearing: Sarah Vaughan appears at the top of the first one I see. I'm starting to feel some promise. Continue down to find post #10, by BRICKLAYER, which says:

1. Chick from Arch Enemy
2. Chick from Lacuna Coil
3. Chick from No Doubt
4. Chick from Sugarcubes
5. Chick from Eminem "Stan" song
6. Chick from Joan Jett n' Blackhearts
7. Pink
8. Chick from Nightwish
9. Chick from Tsunami Bomb
10. Chick from Thor's Hammer

I don't know many of these names but am intrigued by the fact that BRICKLAYER doesn't know who the "chick" is that sings with Joan Jett & The Blackhearts. Um, how about ... JOAN JETT!

Later, BRICKLAYER suggests "the chick from Tori Amos' band".

Cabal of Superior Writers, indeed.

Scroll down to find that people are still adding to the poll. Comment #189, posted on September 12, 2008, by Byron says: Amy Winehouse. (I wretch enthusiastically.)

Finally, I give up and start my own list of the Top 10 favorite female singers of all time (which means they may not exactly be "the best").

Maybe I'll comeback in 2012 and you'll still be commenting!

In no particular order:

Aretha Franklin
Sarah Vaughan
Ruthie Foster
Dusty Springfield
Carly Simon
Gladys Knight
Laura Nyro
Joan Armatrading
Nina Simone
And that chick from the Carpenters