An Open Letter to Rivers Cuomo

Attn: Rivers Cuomo, frontman of the alternative rock band named Weezer:

I have written enough about you in recent months. But after having the opportunity to watch you and your outfit perform a special Halloween show at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York this past Saturday (Oct. 31), I came to the conclusion that at least one more posting of my written thoughts was necessary.

That's because, Rivers, though I still believe your band's latest studio effort, Raditude, is absolutely atrocious and a mockery of all things music, I totally get what you're doing now. You're still one hell of a musician, Rivers, as is your band. After all, this was particularly demonstrated this past Saturday night when you guys ripped through an 80-minute set of fan favorites, covers, and a few new songs that, in the end, actually proved to be quite captivating. Your vocals were as strong as ever, while your bandmates musicianship sounded as tight and crisp as it did the moment I first turned on The Green Album way back when.

So, it's not the talent that is the problem, nor is it your writing. Because, upon further review of Raditude, even if your lyrics are completely mind-numbingly (in a bad way!) inane -- "Monday to Sunday I hit all the clubs /And everybody know me when I pull up/I got the real big posse with me, yeah I'm deep/And if u lookin for me I'm in vip" -- you still master the hook, and as that aforementioned performance again conveyed, you are as witty as ever. You dressed up like an insect for pete's sake!

So, what is the problem? Actually, I'm not even sure I'd call it a problem. Perhaps, it's more of a transformation. The Rivers Cuomo of the Pinkerton era -- the smart, thoughtful, at-times-bitter, at-times-playful but never over-the-top- in-any-one-area Cuomo -- is no longer the Rivers Cuomo currently residing inside that 39-year-old, messy-haired New York native. No, the Rivers Cuomo currently present is one who would rather collaborate with Lil Wayne, have Rainn Wilson pick his album title, and write lyrics about how The Girl Got Hot. It is not that Rivers Cuomo got any less smart, any less thoughtful, or any less talented. No, he is just a different type of musician now, one all about having fun and doing it in any and every way possible -- as the Halloween performance illustrated, this includes jumping on a trampoline and having Leighton Meester duet on If You're Wondering.

Is this a bad thing? I guess it truly depends on who you ask. For some, like yours truly, your transformation has resulted in three albums of hilariously dreadful tunes that make one cringe when one consider this is the same man who crafted Maladroit. But in another sense, for those who aren't jaded music critics and can actually appreciate the simple things in life, your transformation hasn't actually had much of an impact at all. It's still Weezer sounding like Weezer, just a bit more sillier.

So, while I'll probably still end each Weezer sentence with "they suck now," I'll be sure to remember that whatever the future holds for Rivers and Co, it is just the result of a musician who has seen and done everything a musician could have seen and done over the last 15 years, and is finally doing what he wants to do. In this case, it includes wearing snuggies and putting leaping dogs on his newest album's cover.